Transcript

Sermon Transcript: Internal Conflict

4/21/2024 Jeff Schwarzentraub 39 min read

Pastor Jeff:

Our father in heaven, we give you praise and thanks for the gift of your son Jesus Christ, and for your Holy Spirit who indwells all of us who believe. Father, we thank you today that we could gather before you and with you and praise you and your name because you and you alone are the God of the universe and you alone are worthy of all of our honor and praise. And Lord, as we get ready to proclaim your word and hear your word, we ask for your help because we as a people believe Lord, that every time your word is faithfully and accurately proclaimed that you are speaking. So our prayer this morning is speak Lord, for we are ready to hear what you have to say. And so now for all those who have gathered who desire to hear the Lord Jesus Christ, speak directly to your heart, who will believe what he is saying and who will by faith put into practice what he shows you, will you agree with me very loudly this morning by saying the word amen. Amen.

As we've been in this series of Nehemiah and we're talking about building something that is lasting, we've taken a look at how God speaks to our heart and shows us the steps of faith that we need to take. We've talked about vision. We've talked about how if we follow in God's path, that God will give us the resources necessary to accomplish what we need to do. And as we left off this series last time, we said we're not surprised that there will be increased opposition to what God calls us to do. The Bible says that anyone who wants to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted. Now, it can come as a surprise when it happens personally to us, even though we believe God's word and say, "Yeah, I know that's true," that when we're walking in his ways, it can be shocking.

But what I find is even more shocking to believers is not what happens from the outside, but it's when that conflict is internal conflict. When you expect that if I'm walking with Jesus, yeah, nonbelievers are going to give me a hard time, but I'm walking with Jesus and it's believers that are giving me a hard time. It's difficult when it comes from within. Just ask anybody that's dating and talk to them about what it's going to be like when they get married, especially if they're engaged and they're really in love and ask them, tell them there's going to be some conflict someday and see what they say. "Oh, I know. We've talked about all that. We are perfect for each other. We come from similar backgrounds, similar families. We both love the Lord. It's all great. We even know each other's personality. We appreciate all of our differences and so we're ready.

We're the one couple in history that won't have any conflict in our marriage." And that's how every premarital person talks until the day they get married, right? But we find it surprising when we're with people that love the Lord that those conflicts arise. We're surprised when they arise in the church. We're surprised when they arise in our neighborhood. We're surprised when they arise in our workplace or in our schools. We're surprised when we're around other Christians like, "We're both Christians here, why can't we just get along? Why is this so hard?" We have to understand that God is sovereign and that when circumstances happen, including conflict, that God is the one authoring or allowing those things to happen that he's sovereign over everything. Listen to Psalm 103:19. It says, "The Lord has established his throne in the heavens. His sovereignty rules over all."

Friends, conflict, internal conflict is inevitable. The question is not can I avoid it? The question is how can I use it to my advantage? Because how you respond to the conflict that happens will either build you or it will break you. Your response to conflict, whether you run away or whether you engage it and how you do it will determine how God uses that for your betterment or for challenge. I want to tell you something. Some of you today are in the middle of a challenge and you're surprised that you're in it. Some of you just came out of one and some of you, whether you realize it or not, you're getting ready to enter one very soon. Because we live in a broken world, and so there's always going to be conflict until we meet Jesus. So when conflict arises, how do we best handle internal conflict?

And if you're looking for an answer, I believe God has a word for you today. So I want to encourage you to open up your Bibles to Nehemiah Chapter 5, Nehemiah Chapter 5. And we're going to be looking at this chapter today highlighting four truths as to how we can respond to internal conflict when it happens. And we realize this book has been going great. This book has been so fun to read because God calls Nehemiah. Nehemiah is obedient to the call. God resources Nehemiah. Nehemiah comes and takes a look at the landscape. Nehemiah then tells the leaders and the people, "Here's what God's called me to do." God's been working behind the scenes. Everybody comes together, they start building the wall, they start having great success. Even when others are opposing the building of the wall, their success improves all the more, and so they're even more excited.

And our texts left off at the end of chapter four with the fact that even though those on the outside are saying, "I can't believe you're doing this, it's not going to work." They continue to be ready for all the conflict and we're thinking, "This is great. This is exactly what I came to read." Until we get to chapter five, and that's where the challenges begin to pick up. Let me put the setting in place for us in the first few verses here. It says, "Now there was a great outcry of the people and of their wives against their Jewish brothers for there were those who said, 'We, our sons and our daughters are many, therefore, let us get grain that we may eat and live.'" There were others who said, "We are mortgaging our fields, our vineyards and our houses that we might get grain because of the famine."

Also, there were those who said, "We have borrowed money for the king's tax on our fields and our vineyards. Now our flesh is like the flesh of our brothers, our children like their children. Yet behold, we are forcing our sons and our daughters to be slaves and some of our daughters are forced into bondage already, and we are helpless because of our fields and vineyards that belong to others." So here's what's going on: chaos has ensued. The wall's getting built, the mission is on point, everybody's working hard. They're defending the wall, they're protecting the wall, they're building the wall, they're being obedient to God, and yet internally there's crisis. Internally there's chaos. Let me just highlight what the chaos is. First is the people building the wall are busy. They're busy. They say, "Our work's kept us from maintaining our crops, so we have no food.

We've been doing the work of the Lord, but we can't eat. We're so busy doing God's work, we don't even have enough time to tend to our fields to get the food we need to feed our families. So yeah, it's good that we're doing God's mission, but my family's suffering." And notice that first verse of chapter five, I love this. It says there was an outcry of the people and their wives. Isn't it interesting when the families get involved, the husbands are like, "We're doing this. We're going. Our family's getting killed here. Do something about it." Everybody's crying out and the reason is we can't eat. Glad you're doing God's work, we can't even eat. So you're too busy. And then they were too burdened. Notice some were saying, "We eat, but in order to eat, we have to mortgage our fields." So we're being burdened because we have to sell our land in order to get the food that we need in order to feed our families.

Then there were some that were saying, "We are borrowing money at a high interest rate so we can pay taxes. So it's not just that we're busy and burdened, we're broke, we have no money." And then the final group was saying this, "Well, to repay our creditors, we have to sell our children into slavery and we have nothing to buy them back with. So we're in bondage." So yeah, on the outside it's looking good. Walls being built, God's being honored. He's fending off the attack, they're protecting, they're doing all this stuff. But people on the inside, they're overworked, they're busy, they're burdened, they're broke, and they're in bondage. And that's the community that Nehemiah went back to build. So notice how he feels in verse six, "Then I was very angry when I heard their outcry in these words." He was very what?

Congregation:

Angry. `.

Pastor Jeff:

He was very what?

Congregation:

Angry.

Pastor Jeff:

He was very what?

Congregation:

Angry.

Pastor Jeff:

Say it like you mean it. He was very what?

Congregation:

Angry.

Pastor Jeff:

Is it okay to be angry? The Bible says in Ephesians 4:26, "Be angry and do not sin." Anger is okay. It's what are you going to do with your anger? What do you do when you see a situation and everything coming out of you is anger? What do you do when you see a situation everything coming out of you is sadness or it's frustration or it's hurt or it's bitterness? You see something and you know in your gut fundamentally is wrong. Like I'm mad, I'm angry. This is what we want to talk about today because here's what the Bible teaches. The anger of man does not bring about the righteousness of God. If you act in your anger, it will not produce what you want. By show of hands, anybody here ever acted in anger before and wished they had it back? Everybody.

I mean, this is why we need to hear this because from our lens, when we're angry, everything is so clear. But we may not be seeing everything that God wants us to see. So when we're angry, what do we do? It's okay to be angry. Bible says, "Okay to be angry, that's a genuine emotion." Admit it. You don't have to suppress it. You don't have to grit your teeth. You don't have to say, "I'm not angry. I promise you I'm not angry." You can be angry, just don't sin. So what do you do when you see injustice? What do you do when you see something's wrong internally? What do you do when you're angry and you're in your marriage or with your child or with your mom and dad or with your teacher, with your coach or with your boss or with your employee? What do you do?

Four truths we want to talk about today that you can do and four truths that internal conflict demands, and the first is this: internal conflict demands you become champions of the word. Internal conflict demands that you become champions of the word. You see the situation, you hear the outcry. Nehemiah's furious, and notice verse seven, "I consulted with myself." You know what that means? He took a timeout. Stop, pause, catch your breath. Let me say it another way. Avoid carnality at every cost. When you are angry and you act in anger, your flesh will rise your spirit will be depleted. You won't handle it God's way. It's okay to be angry, just don't act on your anger. Pause, take a timeout. How long do I have to pause? Until you're not asking the question. Sometimes it's 10 minutes. Sometimes it's an hour. Sometimes it's a day. Sometimes it's a week. Sometimes it's a couple weeks. Sometimes it's a month.

You pause and you reflect and you take a timeout and you relax and you take a deep breath and you let that come out while you're doing what? While you're seeing the Word, while you're engaging in the Word, while you're consulting it with the Word. Because notice he says he consulted with himself first. Stop with you first. And then he contended with nobles and the rulers and said to them, here's what he's going to say, "You are exacting usury each from his brother, therefore, I held a great assembly against them. I said to them, 'We according to our ability, have redeemed our Jewish brothers who were sold to the nations. Now, would you even sell your brothers that they may be sold to us?' Then they were silent and cannot find a word to say." Now, why does Nehemiah call this assembly?

Why does he get everybody together? Because he's taken time out until his anger's gone and he's consulted the word. How do you know? Because that's what he's going to speak about when he gets together. Now notice this, I won't exhaust the list, but I'll read you three scriptures that I'm sure Nehemiah saw with his own eyes before he held this assembly. The first is in Exodus 22:25. It says, "If you lend money to my people, to the poor among you, you are not to act as a creditor to him. You shall not charge him interest." So what does God's word say? If you're lending money, lend it, but don't charge any interest on it. It's pretty clear, right? How about Leviticus 25:36, "Do not take usurious interest from him, but revere your God that your countrymen may live with you. Don't charge interest to the money that you lend to your own brother."

To make it even clearer, Deuteronomy 23:19-20 says, "You shall not charge interest to your countrymen. Interest on money, food, or anything that may be loaned at interest." You may charge interest to a foreigner, but to your countrymen, you shall not charge interest so that the Lord, your God may bless you in all that you undertake in the land which you are about to enter to possess." So what does he do? He goes to the word. He makes sure that what he sees is not like a proof text. He sees it all over. Those are just three verses. Can God be any more clear to the Jewish nation? From what three verses you just heard did God want them charging interest to their brothers or sisters? No. For what?

For anything. Lend money, help them but don't profit off of them. It couldn't be more clear. And here's what I want to tell you. When you're in a conflict, and I don't care where it comes from because you're going to be in them in a variety and myriad of ways. It can come in your marriage, it can come in a dating relationship. It can come with your employer, your employee. It can come in the church, it can come in your neighborhood, it can come anywhere. And when you do and you're taking your time to stop, pause and catch your breath, number one is this, reflect on the Word. Read the word, meditate on the Word. Know the word. Why? Isaiah 48 says, "The grass withers and the flowers fade, but the word of our Lord stands forever." 2 Timothy 3:16 says that all scripture is God breathed and used for teaching, rebuking and training and righteousness so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped, adequate for every good work.

You want to know what God says? Read the Word. Study the Word. Meditate on the Word. Yeah, but that's just a bunch of men that wrote the book. No, here's what the Bible says in 2 Peter 1:20-21, "But know this, first of all, that no prophecy of scripture's a matter of one's own interpretation for no prophecy was ever made by an act of human will, but men moved by the Holy Spirit spoke from God." This is God's word. It will be with us forever. It's really not even an it, it's He. The scripture represents the eternal son of God in all of his glory and who he is. So when you take time to pause, don't just pause to get more mad. Don't pause to get more ammo for your argument. Pause to get in the word and say, "God, what do you think about this situation?"

And then when you're doing that, let me give you a secondary clue what you can do. Let the word of God read you. Let the word of God read you. Sometimes when we read this, we open it up. I'm in an argument, I'm going to right now. Submit to me as to Christ. You're going to love me like Christ loved the church. Don't do that. Let the word read you first. "Let the word of Christ dwell richly in you," Colossians 3:16 says. Psalms 139:23 and 24 says, "Search me and try me, Oh Lord. See if there's any offensive way in me and lead me in the way ever lasting." Jesus, the greatest communicator of all time and the greatest sermon of all time. The Sermon on the Mount said it this way and you'll be familiar with it in Matthew 7:3, 4 and 5.

Here's what he said, "Why do you look at the speck that's in your brother's eye but do not notice the log that is in your own? Or how can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye, and behold, the log is in your own eye. You hypocrite. First take the log out of your own eye, then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's.'" What does he say? He says this, when you're in a conflict and you see the other person's stuff and it's huge and it's big, what you're neglecting to see is what's in you. What you've neglected to see is what God wants to show you. He said, "Take the log or the beam out of your own eye."

It's like this; here's what Jesus is saying, "When you're really mad at someone else, here's what you look like. And you're walking around like this saying you've got a particle of dust in your eye and I hate it and it's hurting me and I'm really, really mad at you because of that speck and you don't even see it. And boy are you a moron." I mean that's what we look like to the Lord. So he's not saying the speck's not there. He's not saying that what you see is wrong. He's saying first, get before the Lord and let him talk to you about you. I mean, think about this. It doesn't matter whether we're talking about your marriage relationship or a parenting relationship or a coach relationship or a church relationship. I mean, think about the things that go off in your heart sometimes where you would say something like this, "I don't feel like I'm getting the respect I deserve around here."

Maybe that's true, but take the beam out of your eye and ask this question: Lord, has there ever been a time you feel I have not given you the respect that you deserve? Then have your journal out with a pen and get ready to write. I've heard people in marriage counseling say, "You're just not spending enough time with me." That may be true, but how about this, Lord, has there ever been a time where you feel I have not spent enough time with you? Hey, you're just being careless. You're being totally careless with what you're doing. How about this, Lord, has there ever been a time where you feel that I've been careless with the things that you've entrusted to me? You made the wrong decision. That was a horrible decision. Stupid decision. Hurt a lot of people. Hey Lord, has there ever been a time where I've made a wrong decision where I haven't acted according to you that I've hurt some people?

You sinned against me. Lord, is there a time in my life that I'm unaware of that I've sinned against you? Hey, I don't feel appreciated. Lord, has there ever been a time I have really forgotten to appreciate you? Do you see what happens here when you let the word of God read you? All of a sudden this big beam in your eye becomes softer to a point that if God's doing all this work on your beam, you really can neglect having to go take the speck out. And if you have to, do you know how you're going to take it out? You're going to take it out as a careful ophthalmologist that's coming in and saying, "I want to help you." Versus coming in with a beam saying, "I'm coming to get you." See the difference? Sometimes we as Christians fail because we let anger win the day.

We let frustration win the day. We let fear win the day. We let sadness win the day. We let our emotions win the day. We let our flesh win the day. And instead of pausing and taking the time out and a deep breath and a good night's sleep and a good meal and just pausing and like, "Okay, the emotion's out and I've read the word and I see what God says, and now I'm letting the word read me. God, what am I missing in this situation? What am I not seeing about me? Show me about me. I want to hear what you have to say." And then we get ready to go, then we can do what Nehemiah did. Because you know what Nehemiah was doing when he called an assembly? He wasn't calling an assembly to say, "Hey, let's bring everybody together that's really mad and talk about it."

He said, "Here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to call you together. I'm going to share with you what God said that we should do because I know the word and here's what the word says." And that's why when he calls them together, the first words out of his mouth says, "You are exacting usury." It means you're charging interest each from his brother. You are doing the exact opposite of what God would have us do. You are acting in a way that God is not pleased with. He's basically telling them, "Hey, you were bought out of slavery. You were bought out of bondage, and now you're putting your own brothers in bondage. What in the world is going on here?" See, once you're measured, once you know, once you've been in the presence of the Lord, once you are confessing your own sins, once you are letting God build you, then you can speak clearly to others about what God is actually saying. Notice how you respond privately first before going public.

I won't even ask because this is a rhetorical question. You don't have to show hands. But how many wish they would've known this truth this week just a little couple days ago? Right? I mean, sometimes when things come up, we act, we know, we've been here before. I've done, I know... No, no, when these happen, I'm pausing to get with myself and I'm pausing to get with God and I'm pausing to see what God says. And then as I'm doing that, I'm letting his word read me and then I'm making sure that God and I are good and that he's sawing that beam down and he's removing that from my own eye. So then I can see clearly like, "Oh, that's the speck. And oh by the way, I love them. And oh by the way, how can I help pull that out? And oh, by the way, how can we restore that?"

It's a whole different animal than when you just want to be right. And by the way, can I just tell you this? Both inside the church and outside the church, our culture absolutely stinks at this. We're horrible at this. Our culture teaches us when you don't get your way, just get louder and just get more boisterous and just get more argumentative and just have more points. And it doesn't help. It doesn't build what God is trying to build. It doesn't do what God is trying to do. It doesn't accomplish what God is trying to accomplish.

If you go to a marriage counselor or therapist and you both come in guns a-blazing with all of your points, it doesn't help. It's not solving because what both of you are saying is, "I don't want God to speak to me and I don't want to change and I don't want to do this, but I'm uncomfortable with how they were. So change them for me." And it just doesn't work that way. I can tell you from my own experience how God continues to use this in my life. I remember when Kim and I got married. I mean, I'm telling you, there is no couple that ever had it all together like us.

We both came from good families. We both love the Lord. Even as singles, we both counseled married couples. We knew everything when we were in premarital counseling and our person was telling us biblical truths, we were helping them. Six weeks after we got married, we sat in the exact same chair just exhausted with each other, and he opened up his Bible to Matthew 7:2, 3 and 4. 3, 4 and five and showed us about the plank guy and said, "Quit blaming each other, start working on yourself." And by God's grace we did. I stopped trying to coach her and she stopped trying to correct me, and I just like, "Lord, I got to change because I'm screwing this whole thing up." And simultaneously she was doing the same, and she'll tell you stories sometimes about how she had gotten a book called The Power of a Praying Wife that she was reading.

And she said there were several times when she was so mad at me and wanted to throw the book across the room that she had to write a love letter of all the reasons she loved me. I love that book by the way. Do you know what I'm saying? But then things begin to cement and come together and a lot of married couples, they don't work on their stuff. They think there's something wrong that they're fighting together. But if you can use conflict to let God change you, you can cement and bond. If you use conflict in the church to let God change you, we can cement and bond. If you use conflict to let God change you in your workplace, you can cement and bond. All good teams, all good organizations, everybody, conflict is inevitable. How do you deal with it? And this is what Nehemiah was doing.

Nehemiah was getting before the Lord. He was understanding the word. He was letting the word read him so that when he got people together, he is like, "This is what God is saying." And everybody knew it. Everybody knew it. So be champions of the word. Don't just be hearers, be doers. Let the word of God richly dwell in your heart. Number two is this: internal conflict demands you become contagious in your witness, contagious in your witness. Notice this in verse nine: Again I said, "The thing which you are doing is not good." By the way, once you've spent the time with the Lord and once you've let the Lord speak to your heart, if you are going to confront somebody, it's okay to tell the truth. It's okay to tell, "Hey, what you're doing, it's not good. What you're doing goes against God's word. I'm telling you, but I'm telling you from a place not of anger, I'm telling you because I love you. What you're doing is not good."

Should you not walk in the fear of our God because of the reproach of the nations or enemies? Here's what he's saying, "Everybody's watching how you're dealing with this conflict. They've seen our God bring us back in. They've seen our God build this wall. Now they're watching us to see how are we going to relate to each other." Some of the reasons why your friends are not in church today is because of the way that they've seen Christians relate to each other and they say, "I don't want to be any part of that. Christians are mean. Christians are hateful. I've heard you gossip about all your Christian friends at church. I've heard you say terrible things about your pastor. I've heard you say bad things about this. I just don't want to be around people like that, and we're not contagious in our witness."

See, it's not just that you do the right thing, it's how you do the right thing. It's not just navigating your marriage, it's how your kids see you navigate your marriage. It's how they see you say you're sorry to one another. It's how they see you then preference one another. It's how they see you change over time. It's not just, "Well, I did the right thing." It's, "No, here's what we're doing for the sake of our marriage. Here's what we're doing for the sake of the church. Here's what we're doing for the sake of our organization, we have to lay down our lives so that we can work together." Your witness is important because the world's watching. People inside the church and outside the church, they're watching. How are you dealing with conflict? Are you dealing with it in a way that honors the Lord? Are you doing it in a way that God would say, "I am so pleased with the way they're talking to one another.

I'm so pleased with the way they're praying for one another. I'm so pleased with the way that they are encouraging one another and building one another up and I, God, look down at this conflict, I'm so thrilled with what's being built here." When I look at this marriage, I'm so thrilled with how they're dealing with the conflict. When I look at how these parents are dealing with their children, I'm so thrilled with how they're dealing with this conflict. When I look at how this employee is dealing with their employer or this employer is dealing with their employer, I'm so thrilled with how it's being done and what it looks like to the world. Notice verse 10, he says, "And likewise I, my brothers and my servants are lending them money in grain. Please leave us off this usury." In other words, Nehemiah is saying, "I'm leading by example.

I'm lending grain. I'm lending money. I'm doing this, but I'm not charging interest." "Do what I'm doing," he says. And then he says, "Please give back to them." When? "This very day." What? "Their fields, their vineyards, their olive groves, their houses, also the hundredth part of the money, which was really 1% a month, like 12% a year, and the grain in the new wine and the oil that you were extracting from them." Okay, so they've been doing all this stuff for a while. The people are suffering. They're busy, they're burdened, they're in bondage. All these things are going on. They're completely broke and Nehemiah brings them the word and they realize, "Yeah, we're wrong and you've been doing it right and this is what God wants us to do." So Nehemiah says, "So get it right." When? "This very day." Anyone who knows the good he ought to do and does not do it, sins.

Well, I'll get it right. As soon as my spouse comes and says they were wrong, we'll have a really good conversation. No, no, no, no. Soon as you know what you need to do, as soon as your anger levels tap down, as soon as you know how to make it right, go make it right. As soon as you know how to handle, go do it right now. We'll, when? Right now. That's why the Bible says if you're offering your gift of the altar and realize your brother has something against you, first go be reconciled to your brother, then come give the gift. Worshiping God's great, but unity in the body is just as great. So when you're aware, and sometimes it takes you a while to become aware, but when you're aware, go act on it. If you're always the person sitting around, well as soon as they see the air of their way, they can come to me.

Now that's arrogance, that's of the enemy. Sometimes people get comfort in lashing out, and sometimes people get comfort in withdrawal. Usually when the spirit of God is at work in that personality, it's usually the opposite. If you naturally in your flesh are the lash out kind of person, you probably need to pause a little bit longer. If you're naturally the withdrawal person, you probably need to engage just a little bit faster because it's going to take the Holy Spirit's power in your life to do that. You see, you're trust in the word and obedience to the word are everything. Trust and obey. There's no other way to be happy in Jesus, but to trust and obey. In the context of conflict, when conflict's going on and you realize, okay, I know the word and I know what the Lord's speaking to me, and I know how I can make this better, I know what I can do, then you're ready to act.

Now in the context of conflict, if the other person's not ready, then you may need to give them some more time too. Totally get that. But Nehemiah acted and when they understood what it was, he said, "This very day, do it." Notice how they respond in verse 12, they said, "We will give it back and we'll require nothing from them. We will do exactly as you say." So what does he do? He doesn't just make them say, "Okay, I'll do it." He calls the priests and they took an oath or a vow from them that they would do according to the promise. And then he says this, "I also shook out the front of my garment and said, 'Thus, may God shake out every man from his house and from his possession who does not fulfill this promise. Even thus, may he be shaken out and emptied.'" And all the assembly said amen, yes, let it be that way. And what do they do? They praised the Lord. They praised the Lord. Then they did everything that God had promised.

Who's praising the Lord? The whole nation, the people that were charging interest praising the Lord were giving it back. The people that were being extorted, what are they doing? They're praising the Lord. Why? Because when you do it God's way, it results in praise because you know there's no way this could have ever been worked out if it weren't for our God. There's no way God could have ever worked this out in our marriage if it weren't for God. There's no way God could have ever worked this out in our church if it wasn't for our God. There's no way God could have ever worked this out in the workplace if it wasn't for God.

And when you get to the place where now you're praising God together, there's a unity and a bond that's forged that's even stronger. I've been married to my wife almost 20 years and we were talking just the other day. We've had several conflicts. They continue to come and we navigate them and we're way better at them now than we were at first, but I never want to start over. We've been through too much. We've forged a bond that's too strong. I wouldn't want to start over with anybody else. We have something that's deeper and special than even the day we got married where God declared us one. Because why? Because we've been through the fires together, and we'll be through more because I'm mature enough to know they never stop.

So don't reject conflict. Lean into it, but do it God's way. Be champions of the word. Be contagious in your witness. Why? Because other people are watching. It's foundational to God when you realize that other people are watching. That's why Jesus said in Matthew 5:19, "Let your light so shine before men that they may see your good works and give praise to your Father or who's in heaven." When you're a Christian and you go through something, you're going to handle it different. You're going to handle it different. I remember when I played football at the University of Illinois, I was going to quit and God spoke to my heart. He's like, "No, I'm not asking you to quit. I'm just asking you to be my servant on the team." And I remember saying, "Fifth year I'll be a senior. I'll be on scout team. I'll be so embarrassing. I'll be humiliated." And the Lord was like, "Yeah, I know exactly how that feels to be humiliated and embarrassed. I'm just wondering if you'd be my servant and do that."

So I went back to the team and I don't know how many people came up to me that year and were like, "If I were you, I would've quit. If I were you, I'd have given him the finger. If I were you, I'd be out of here. I'd be like, why are you still here?" And I would say, "Because I listened to Jesus and he's my God and he told me to stay and I want to be a witness for him." I led more people to the Lord that fall than I had led in all my other years in college combined because they saw how I dealt with conflict. Conflict can be used for the glory of the Lord when we see that it's coming and you're mature enough.

Sometimes when we see conflict and we're like, "Oh, that person's a burden. That person's a pain. How come they're in my life?" Because you need it and God's the one that authored it or allowed it and he's doing it for you. And if in the moment you can be like, "Thank you Jesus for giving me this, because I would've never wanted it. What are you doing? How am I growing? How do you want to change me?" And you'll lean into it. God will continue to sanctify you and grow you in holiness and grace and joy like you didn't even know was possible. That's why 2 Corinthians 8:21 says, "Do what is good in the sight of God and of men." You see, when a man of God or a woman of God acts and speaks the will of God, then the purposes of God are accomplished.

When you see conflict, that's okay. That's normal. We all have different personalities, backgrounds, beliefs and systems. There's no way we can all get along on everything. But when we have conflict at a deep level in our heart, when it brings out the emotion at the highest level, we pause, we relax, we seek the Word. We let the Word read us. We are ready to hear what God has to say, and then we get ready to speak out. Then we become contagious in our witness because we care about not only what we're going to do, but how other people see what we're going to do, which is just as important. Then number three, we do this: internal conflict demands that you become conscientious in your work, that you become conscientious in your work. We notice this: they praised the Lord, then the people did everything according to the promise.

They're like, "We vowed before the priest, I swear to God I'm doing this thing." And then Nehemiah gives us an example in verses 14 to 18 about how he led for the 12 years that he was governor. It's almost as if he's reflecting on this time as he's writing this scripture under the power of the Holy Spirit and he says, "Moreover, from the day that I was appointed to be their governor in the land of Judah from the 20th year to the 32nd year of King Artaxerxes; for 12 years, neither I nor my kinsmen have eaten the governor's food allowance. But the former governors who were before me laid burdens on the people and took from them bread and wine besides 40 shekels of silver. Even their servants domineered the people, but I did not do so." Why? "Because of the fear of the Lord."

Here's what he says, "In the 12 years I was governor, I didn't extort anybody. I didn't use my leadership as an opportunity to extort the people. The governors before me did. As a matter of fact, not only did they do it, but all their servants did it. They collected food and money from all the people. They used their leadership as an example to profit off everybody." He said, "I didn't do that and let me tell you why, because I feared the Lord." Proverbs 9:10 says that the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. Wisdom is skilled living. The only way you can live the way God wants you to live is if you have fear of God. Fear is more than just reverence and awe. Fear means this: fear. You need to realize that when you stand before God someday, you're going to stand before the God of the universe and give an account for every thought, word, deed, action, behavior for everything you've ever done in your whole life.

And if that doesn't scare you, it's because haven't reflected enough on it. I mean, why do you do the things you do? Because sometimes the reason we act wrong in conflict is because we forget what God's thinking. Who cares what he's thinking. I'm mad, I'm going to act really quick. But when you start thinking about God's watching and he cares, and I'm going to stand before him and I'm going to give an account for the way in which I live and what I say and what I do, and I want to stand before him in a way that when he sees me 20, 30, 40, 50 years from now, two weeks from now, whenever my time is, he's going to say, "Yeah, I was watching everything you did. You did it my way. Good job." Do you think that way? Because in the middle of it's tough to be conscientious about that.

It's tough to realize that everything that you have in this life is a gift from God. Your job, even if you hate it, is a gift from God. Your marriage is a gift from God, even if it's challenging. Your kids are a gift from God, even if they're challenged. Everything's a gift, and how you steward those gifts and how you steward your responsibilities, you will give an account for the Lord. Had one of our coaches in college who used to say this all the time, he used to quote Colossians 3:23. He led our Fellowship of Christian Athletes Group and he used to say this, "Whatever you do, do your work heartily as for the Lord rather than for men." I used to be like, "What's heartily mean?" It means with your whole heart. If you're going to do something, go all in. For who? For the Lord.

And in the context is when we used to play football and he would say, "Don't play so that you get more playing time. Don't go to practice so you can get better and please the coach. Don't play for him and don't play for the crowd and don't play for... You're going out there today and everything you say and do, you're doing for Jesus. Everything you're doing in your life, he's the one you're doing it to please. And as our context shift and context change and all that stuff, everything you do in your life, you're doing for Jesus. When you're at school, you're studying as heartily unto the Lord because he's given you a gift to go to school. Even if you say, "I'll never use math and I would be living testimony," you could be right.

Even if how you study for math as to show yourself approved is unto the Lord goes with you for the rest of your life. How you do what you do, you're not doing it for a teacher, you're not doing it for your future, you're not doing it for your job, you're not doing it for your mom and dad. I'm doing what I'm doing because I want to honor Jesus and I want to make sure he knows that everything he's given me and every opportunity I have that he's pleased. Be conscientious about your work. Nehemiah was conscientious about his work. He was called to build a wall. So what would he want to build? He wanted to build a wall. He didn't stop building the wall just because there was external oppression and just because there was internal conflict. He was still diligent about building the wall, there was just a way to do it God's way and he was diligent with it and he was going to be able to appear before the Lord someday and say, "I didn't extort people. I didn't take their money. I didn't take their food. And here's why I didn't, because God, I was way more afraid of you than I was of them."

If more people lived with that kind of fear, if Christians lived with that kind of fear, we'd have a different world. We'd have different sermons coming out of our pulpit if people cared more about what God thought than what they thought. We'd have different doctors, we'd have different politicians, we'd have different educators. We'd have different families. We'd have different husbands. We'd have different wives. If everybody lived and said, "God, this is what you've entrusted to me and I know I'm going to stand before you and I'm going to give an account for my life." Notice in verse 16, he says, "I also applied myself to the work on that wall." He goes, "I didn't just ask people to build the wall, I built it too. We did not buy any land and all my servants were gathered there for the work. So not only did I do it, but everybody on my team did the work too.

Moreover, there were at my table 150 Jews and officials besides those who came to us from the nations that were around us. Now, that which was prepared for each day was an ox and six choice sheep. Also, birds were prepared for me and once in 10 days, all sorts of wine were furnished in abundance. Yet for all this, I did not demand the governor's food allowance because the servitude was heavy on this people." He's like, "There were things made, but you know what? When our table was made, I invited a bunch of people into the table. I wanted to make sure everybody could eat, and I didn't take the governor's allowance because I could have had more and I could have had more, and I could have done more, but I didn't do that. I worked, I served. My team worked and served. We came alongside because we're all part of the same team, all part of the same mission, all part of trying to get it done."

And that's what you need to realize. Wherever you work, whatever you do, whatever your season of life is, God's the one who's placed you there. Do it for him. Do it for him. Do it for him. Do it as if you knew at the end of today, you were going to meet him face to face and said, "Okay, I did it for you." And you only get a one-day contract with life, so you can get up every single day and talk to your boss. I'm not talking about the boss you work for, I'm talking about your boss boss. Get up and say, "Jesus, I'm working for you today. I'm serving you today. This is the day you have made. I want to use every resource available to me to bring you the greatest glory that I can possibly bring." If you have a chance this week, and we don't have time today to read this passage, but you can read about the Parable of the Talents in Matthew chapter 25:14-30.

To summarize, there was a man that went on a long journey and entrusted to his servants a measure of talents. A talents was an incalculable amount of money. To one he gave five talents, to one he gave two talents, to one he gave one talent; all incredible amounts of money. Then he went on a journey and he came back. He asked him to put it to work for him while he was gone and when he came back, the one who had five, he went up to him first. He said, "Hey, how'd it go? What'd you do with what I entrusted to you?" He's like, "Well, you entrusted to me a lot. You gave me a lot. I invested everything you gave me. And oh, by the way, I have five more talents, so I have 10, and they're all yours anyway. So here you go."

And the master says, "Well done good and faithful servant." So he goes over to the other guy, he had two. He's like, "Hey, I gave you two. What'd you do?" He is like, "That was a lot. But I took both of those and I invested those and I took steps of faith with all those because I knew you wanted me to, and guess what? It earned two more. So I have four, and they were never mine to begin with. They're yours, I just wanted to give them to you and I'm pleased to give you more than what you gave me." "Oh, well done good and faithful servant." So he goes and finds a guy with one, he's like, "Hey, how'd you do?" "Well, let me tell you something. I knew you were hard. I didn't really like you. I didn't ask for a talent. I didn't want your talent, I didn't need your talent, I didn't care about your talent because I don't care about you. So what I did is I went and dug a hole. Let me go dig up what I buried."

And he went back and dug up the talent that he had and he said, "Hey, this is what you wanted. I never wanted to begin with, just take it." And what does the master say? "You wicked lazy servant. I entrusted this to you and you did nothing with it. Take the one from him, give it to the guy with 10 because those who have more will even have more in abundance. And throw this wicked, lazy servant out into the darkness where there'll be weeping a gnashing of teeth." Why? Because God's gifted every single person on the planet for himself. And when you say I want nothing to do with you, and I don't care about the work you gave me, all I care about is me, that's what you're looking to face. So be conscientious about the work you do.

You're not working for you. You're not going to school so you can get a job. You're not dating so you can get married. You're not married so you can have kids. You're not having kids so you can buy a house. You're not saving up your retirement so you can have a night. It's not about you. Everything you have is for him. How can he have more because of what he stewarded in my life and how do I give my best to him? That's being conscientious of your work so at the end of your life you can say, "Say whatever you want say, but I know my God saw what I did, and he's pleased with the way I invested all the things he gave me for his glory."

Congregation:

Amen.

Pastor Jeff:

Amen. That's what he says.

Now, here's the reality. If you fear the Lord, that's how you have the beginning of wisdom. That's why I want to live that way. And notice what has happened. The people of God who had been in reproach are now back in the land having success, but guess what? Now they're reproach again. They had been delivered from the Egyptian bondage, they were now delivered from the Babylonian captivity, and now they're back in bondage among their own people. It's like you guys can't get this right no matter what you do. But if you can be a champion of the Word and you can be contagious in your witness and you can be conscientious in your work, then you can do this final one. And this final one really sums up all of them, and I think it's super important because notice how Nehemiah prayed at the end.

He said, "Remember me, oh my God, for good according to all that I have done for this people." He said, "God, look at me. Look at what I've been doing." And here's what he's really saying, "God, I'm praying that you bless me according to what you've seen me do. Lord, bless me according to how I've been a champion of your word. Lord, bless me how I've been contagious in my witness for you. Bless me in how I've been conscientious in my work for you. Lord, in that way, that's how I want you to bless me." Even Jesus teaches us to pray this way. Lord, forgive us our sins as what? As we forgive other people's sins. Lord, forgive me in the way you see me forgive others. That's how you should pray. That's how Nehemiah was praying. Why? Because this number four: internal conflict demands that you become cognizant God will watch.

God is watching. You need to be aware that God's watching everything, how you are in the Word, and how you are in your witness, and how you are in your work. It doesn't really matter what everybody at church thinks. They can think, oh, always grace is great. God's watching. And you should be able to pray according to how well you do in those three things. There's a lot of people in our church who are going through financial struggle that are praying for money, and I think it's fair to pray for that because our God will meet all of your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus. But pray like this, "Lord, give to me in the same way that you've watched me give to you and others. Be generous to me in the way you've watched me be generous to you and to other people. That's what I'm asking for.

Lord, bless my marriage in the way in which I've been honoring to you and to my spouse. Bless me like that in my marriage. Lord, bless me in my ministry to the extent that I'm being faithful in the word and loving you and loving your people. That's how I want to prosper. Lord, bless my workplace in the way that I've honored you and honored the people in my work in a way that you're most pleased with." It really puts it out there, how have I been true to these things? Because everybody wants to pray for better marriage and more money and health and ministry.

But do you pray according to how you've been preparing? Do you pray according to how you've dealt with conflict? Lord, watch what I'm doing and then bless me according to the way in which I'm doing it your way, because there's power in that. And church, I'm here to tell you that God gives us the power through the Holy Spirit to do these very things. God wants us to have success in doing these very things. God wants us to know how to do this. And I know for some of you today, you would say, "Well, if I could have heard this message 10 years ago, I wouldn't be divorced. And it's so painful to hear because I blew it, or I wouldn't have lost that job, or I wouldn't be going through the same cycle of madness." I have great news for you. I have great news for you. No matter where you are, no matter what you think you've blown, Jesus Christ still forgives and you can start fresh today. Amen.

The way we're going to celebrate and commemorate that today is with this cup, these elements; the body and blood of our Lord Jesus Christ in this cup, it's a wafer in juice. It's representative of the body and blood of our Lord Jesus Christ. It means if you're into conflict, you have the power of God through Jesus Christ to deal with it now. It means if you've blown a conflict, you have the power of God to forgive all of that and let you start fresh again. So what I want to do today as you get ready to hear this song sung over you is this is your time. I want you to think about what's rising up in you, what's angering you, what's causing you frustration or sadness or grief or emotion. Maybe the name of the person or the face of the person is as it's coming up.

We're going to take a pause right here, and you're going to rest, and you're going to let this song get sung over in you. Maybe you want to kneel, maybe you want to sit, maybe you want to stand, maybe you just want to hold your hand, whatever you do to get your heart ready and recognize this, that Jesus Christ is greater than your conflict. Jesus Christ is greater than what you've gone through. And oh, by the way, whatever conflict you think you've gone through, there was a greater conflict between you and God and Jesus Christ paved the way so there wouldn't be a conflict anymore. That through his death on the cross and his resurrection from the dead, there can be no more conflict. There's just peace through repentance and faith. And because Christ was able to do that in you, he's also able to work that conflict out through you.

So today, as you hold these elements in your hand, I want you to think about all the Christ is forgiven in your life. I want you to ask him for fresh power to forgive and wash and cleanse that area that his cross is already taken care of, and I want you to turn that conflict over to him and rest in him and trust that he's going to do the work.

Father in heaven, we just praise you as we come together. Lord, the cup and the bread are what bring us together as the body of Christ. With men and women and boys and girls from all over the world, it's not our efforts, it's not our denomination, it's not our church attendance. It's the fact that we believe that you died on the cross and you rose from the dead. And Lord, we need that reminder today. We celebrate the fact that you ended the conflict you had with us by dying yourself. And Lord, we ask you to move in this moment as we prepare our hearts and take this Supper together as we'll take on campuses together after the singing of the song. We give you all the praise and glory in Jesus' name, Amen.