Sermon Transcript
And all of God's people who are ready to receive his word and put it into practice. Agreed. By saying, amen. I want to encourage you to open your bible up to one corinthians, chapter seven. First corinthians, chapter seven.
We're in a series called stronger. We took a couple weeks off for Christmas and the new year, but now we're back in. And just to bring you up to speed, Paul has been talking about human sexuality. He's been talking about marriage. He's been talking about widows.
And now he's going to be addressing one specific group of people, singles. Specifically singles who have never been married. So I've entitled this message single and satisfied. It is not an oxymoron. It is God's plan for singles to be satisfied in him.
Now, if you're married and you hear the title of that message and you're like, ah, why did I choose to come to church today? Imagine how singles feel every time they've heard a marriage series over the last years. Right. Thank you. And also understand this.
If you're serious about the kingdom of God and discipling other people, parents, you have people in your life, kids who are unmarried, grandparents, you have grandkids in your life that are unmarried. If you care about discipleship, you want to know what God's word has to say to singles. It's really important, because what you're going to hear from God's word today, you're not going to get anywhere else. And so it's important that we understand God's design for singleness. And here's why.
Because depending upon the tradition that you're from, you probably have a false view of what singleness is. In the roman catholic tradition, for instance, singleness and celibacy is put on a real high shelf, and you're considered more spiritual if you're single. As a matter of fact, in order to be a priest in the Roman Catholic Church, you have to take a vow of celibacy, because that's a sign that you're more spiritual. Nothing could be further from the truth. It's not a sign of spirituality.
It is a choice that we make to honor God. But in the protestant church, what I find is when it comes to singleness, not only we don't elevate it, we look down on it. And when somebody says, hey, are you married? No, I'm single. It's almost like, oh, I'm sorry.
We'll pray for you. Hopefully you have the right person out there, that kind of thing. And that's not at all how the Bible views singles. What God wants are people that are living completely for him. So as we open up God's word today, let's get a picture of what singleness is all about in singles.
I'm going to give you four blessings of being single. And why if you're single, there's benefit to being single. Let's open our bibles to first corinthians seven. We'll start in verse 25 as Paul's address. Marrieds and widows and those struggling in marriage and all of that, and then remaining in the lot that we are.
He gets to this. He says this in verse 25. Now, concerning virgins, I have no command of the Lord, but I give an opinion as one who by the mercy of the Lord, is trustworthy. I think then that it is good in view of the present distress, that it is good for a man to remain as he is. Are you bound to a wife?
Do not seek to be released. Are you released from a wife? Do not seek a wife. But if you marry, you have not sinned. And if a virgin marries, she has not sinned yet such will have trouble in this life.
And I am trying to spare you. You're getting it right. You're picking up on it all right. Cause there's four blessings to being single and you caught the first one. The first blessing to being single is that, number one, you are spared from the inevitable troubles that marriage promises.
It's a guarantee. Now notice what he says. He says, now concerning virgins. He goes, I have no command of the Lord. He goes, I'm not commanding you if you're single and you've never been married.
I'm not commanding you what you have to do. He goes, but I give an opinion or a judgment. The mercy of the Lord is trustworthy. He says, I'm telling you this as a spirit filled man. I'm not commanding you to stay single, but I'm going to share some things with you as somebody who has wisdom, having traveled around and planted many churches, knowing a lot of people that what I'm telling you is very, very true.
And we also know that this is God's word. So this is not Paul saying, this is just my opinion. This is the inerrant word of God saying what we're about to see is God speaking directly to us. And he says this, I think then that this is good in view of the present distress. Now we don't know what the present distress was.
The distress is a stress or a calamity that was going on at that time, we don't know the specific stress that was happening in antiquity at that time. We do know that about ten years after Paul wrote this letter, that being a Christian, you faced very, very difficult times. Nero was the emperor of Rome. What Nero did to christians were things like this. He would put them in animal skins and turn wild animals loose on them until they got eaten.
He would take christians at his parties and dip them in wax and then light them on fire to light his garden. For all the parties that he was going to have, I mean, to be a Christian was a distressing time. So we don't know if he was kind of looking ahead to how difficult it was going to be or if he was just talking about the current situation of the world falling apart and how difficult it was to be a Christian. I mean, there was a distress for Paul, wasn't there? I mean, there was good reason Paul was single.
Can you imagine being married to the apostle Paul? Hey, I need you home for dinner tonight at six. Sorry, I was stoned again today. Hey, can you help with your son's homework? Sorry, I'm in prison this time.
Hey, can you come over here? Hey, we're shipwrecked. We're in the middle of nowhere. I mean, it would have been very difficult to be married in that situation. And Paul says, in light of the distresses, he says, I think it's good for a man to remain as he is.
This is nothing new. Paul has said, because of the gospel, that whatever situation you find yourself in, it's good to give God allegiance in that situation. So if you're single, what he's saying is, don't be looking just to get married to someone. Use this time in a specific way for the Lord. Now, here's what he says next.
Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be released. Are you released from a wife? Do not seek a wife. Now, you might say, well, you just said, he's talking to singles now, he's talking to marriage.
Why is he talking to marrieds? The same reason I'm talking to singles and marrieds today, because this would have been a letter that would have been read to the church in Corinth. And while he's specifically addressing singles in this part of the letter, he realizes there's married people that are listening in on this. And what's he saying? He goes, hey, I'm talking to the singles.
He goes, I think it's good for you to stay as you are. But let me just tell you, let me remind you what I already reminded you about a little earlier in this chapter. If you are married, if you are bound to a wife, do not seek to be released. In other words, if you're married, you're married. We went over that a few weeks ago.
If you're married to someone that you don't like, you're married. If you're married to someone that has annoying habits, you're married. If you're married to a nonbeliever, you're married. Don't seek to be released. In other words, don't spend your life focusing on, oh, man, I wish I was single again.
What would it look like if I was single, if I was freed up from this thing? Oh, it'd be so awesome. He goes, I'm not talking to y'all. You're married. We already went over that.
So if you're married, don't seek to be released. But if you're free from a wife, in other words, if you're free from the covenant of marriage, if you've never been married before, don't seek a wife. This is great instruction for singles. Okay, here's why. Because the Bible knows nothing about american dating.
It doesn't know anything about it. It doesn't know that, hey, I'm gonna go out with this person for a while, and I'm gonna kinda enjoy this person for a while, and then I'm gonna get rid of them, and then I'm gonna go out to dating and movies with this person for a while, and then when I'm done with them, I'll get done with them. And then I'm gonna go kiss on this person for a while, and then we'll do some things together, and I'm gonna be done with them. And I'm gonna do this, and I'm gonna do. The Bible knows nothing about that.
Right? Here's the truth. If you're not planning on getting married, dating is a waste of your time. According to God's word. You don't benefit by dating around a lot and practicing a lot when you get married.
Actually, that brings baggage into your marriage when you get married. Okay, now, parents, don't oboe your kids just yet. What I'm saying to you is this, you don't need to have a lot of experience dating to have a great marriage. Don't go seeking your spouse. What you seek after is the lord.
And if you're going after the Lord and you're called to be married, he will bring your spouse to you. That's what it says. See, so often as singles, you spend your time going after the wrong people in hopes that you're gonna change them to become the right people. And I'm gonna tell you right now, I'll just spare you all the time in the world, you won't change them. And singles, let me tell you one other thing.
If you're miserable as a single, okay, you're just like, I'm so miserable, I can't wait till I get married. If you're miserable as a single and you think marriage is the solution, you will be a thousand times more miserable married than you ever thought you were single. Marriage does not cure misery. Jesus Christ does. That's what he's saying.
That's why he's saying, in view of this, I'm telling you, it's good for you to be single and married people, when you're discipling someone who's single, don't try to get them all married off. Don't try to have them meet every single one of your friends. Don't say, I know somebody for you. They'll tell you if they want to meet somebody for you. And if they're really going after the Lord, why not tell them that this is a special time, that they can go after the Lord?
Did you know that singleness is a gift? Singleness is a gift because you have so much things that you can do and it doesn't bother anybody else. Singles, do you not realize after church today, you can do whatever you want? If you want to go out to eat, you can go out to eat. You want to go eat at home, you can go eat at home.
You want to catch a movie this afternoon or later tonight? Fine. You want to work out later today? No problem. Hey, you want to stay out till two in the morning tonight?
Nobody's going to tell you not to. I mean, as long as you're not, you got a lot of freedom to do whatever you want, whenever you want to do it, and you're not going to bug anybody. Marriage isn't quite like that. I mean, there are some things that when you're connected to somebody else, things can happen, right? And this is what Paul's trying to say.
He's saying, but if you marry, you haven't sinned. Marriage is a good thing. We're going to talk about that. And if a virgin married, she hasn't sinned yet, you will have trouble in this life, and I am trying to spare you. Now, you may wonder when the troubles begin, so let me help you out as your pastor, okay, here's when the troubles start when you go to a wedding and a bride and a groom stand together and they make vows before the Lord that till death do they part, that they will always be together.
And they say something like this, for better or for worse, in sickness and in health, for richer or for poor, to honor one another, till death do we part. And the pastor or priest announces that they are husband and wife. At that very moment, they have irreconcilable differences. Because here's why. Because two sinners just came together who have their own set of issues, and they're committing to be unselfish and serve someone else.
That's a major problem, then, because God made marriage between a man and a woman. You have gender differences. How many know? I'm just gonna let you know a little clue. Men and women are different, okay?
I'm not just talking anatomically different. I'm talking every way different. Women think differently than men. Women feel things differently than men. God designed it that way.
It's a beautiful thing. But there's some challenges to that. When you get married, you're going to have different ways in which you view finances, different understandings of what it means to save, and different understandings of what it means to spend. You're going to have different understandings about what to do with your free time and how to spend your free time. You're gonna have different ideas about how many kids you should have and how you should discipline them and how you should raise them.
And let me tell you something else. This can even happen in a marriage that you are just, quote, I'm just being myself living my life, and you can hurt your spouse just being you, not doing anything else at all. That's a great place for an amen. Don't make me feel alone up here. Right.
I didn't even do anything. I was just being me, and I hurt her feelings, or she's just being her, and she's disrespected me. Why? Because we're different. And whatever perspective you have and your family backgrounds and whatever you brought into your marriage, it doesn't make it right, and that doesn't necessarily make it wrong.
It just makes it challenging. And there's some natural challenges that come with marriage that singles you do not have. And it's a blessing, if you're in a season of singleness, to enjoy it to the full. Don't take this beautiful season you have and feel like you got to figure out who you're going to marry and date this person, and date this person and date this person and be all consuming with all this stuff. Use your singleness to the glory of God to enjoy him and to enjoy the freedom that he's given you, because it is a blessing.
And as we're discipling singles, we need to tell them that you don't need to rush to get married. Who says you have to rush to get married? There's a time in your life you may choose to get married. It's a great thing. We're going to talk about that.
But you don't have to. It's okay if you would choose to be single for the rest of your life and you can be satisfied and be single. That's what Paul's saying, because singleness is a blessing from the Lord. Now notice what he goes on to say. Let me give you a second blessing.
Not only are you spared from inevitable challenges, but check this out. You're reminded that your focus on Jesus Christ will always satisfy more than your marital status. Your focus on Jesus Christ will always satisfy more than your marital status. And one of the reasons that you're single is to be reminded of that. Some people think, well, when I get married, then it's gonna be so much happier.
When I get married, it's gonna be so much better. No, you can be completely satisfied in the Lord by focusing on him presently. That's what God says. And so that's what he goes on to say. And he says, what?
Notice what he says next. But I say this to you, brethren, in verse 29, the time has been shortened. Well, what's been shortened? When you become a Christian, here's what you begin to realize. From the time Jesus ascended into heaven until he's coming back.
He said, I'm coming back to the place that I came right when Jesus promised to come back, here's what happened. He ascended into heaven. There's a date and time set by his father where he's going to come back. And every day we continue to live. That timeframe gets shorter and shorter and shorter.
Now, is it this afternoon? I don't know. Is it next week? I don't know. Is it next year?
I don't know. Is it two years? I don't know. Is it 300 years? I don't know.
But that time's shorter than it was yesterday, and the time's getting shorter. And what Paul is trying to make the argument of is because we live on a place that's messed up. This world and its system is messed up. Live completely in your focus to Jesus. Some of you have seen the movie Titanic, some of you know the story, but when the Titanic hit the iceberg, everything changed on the boat.
Everything changed on the ship. People weren't as concerned about whether they got turned down service in their room that night. People weren't as concerned about whether their food was properly cooked. People weren't as concerned as to whether there was going to be a jazz club at midnight that night. The ship's going down.
Things became more important. That's what Paul is saying. There's more importance in your life than whether you're married or single. And I know in our culture, I know in our culture, because we put a high value on sexuality, and we say, get married. If you're a Christian and all this kind of stuff, we think that if you're single, you can't live the full life that God has.
Let me tell you two people who did, Jesus Christ and the apostle Paul, and they serve the father very, very well. Amen. And so this is what he's saying. The time has been shortened. The gospel is important.
So what does he say? So then from now on, those who have wives should be as those who had none. Now, what he's not saying is, hey, since you're married, Jeff, you can live as a single. Just pretend you don't even have Kim. That's not what he's saying.
He just got done saying, if you're bound to a wife, do not seek to be released. What's he saying? He says, in light of the gospel of Jesus Christ, your focus should be on Jesus, greater than it even is on your wife. That's what he's saying. And how about this?
Those who weep as though they did not weep. Right. Those who rejoice as though they did not rejoice. Those who buy as though they did not possess, and those who use the world as though they did not make full use of it. Why?
For the form of this world is passing away. The world as we know it is not the place we're supposed to be focused on. If you live for this world in the world system, you'll always be miserable whether you're single or married. That's what he's trying to say. Now, all five of these things are good things.
Marriage is a good thing. Sorrow is a very good thing. Rejoicing is a good thing. Having possessions is a good thing. Having pleasure is a good thing.
It's just making sure these things have their proper place, and none of these things consume you. Why? Because the gospel of Jesus Christ is more important, and your focus on him is more important. So what's the gospel? Can I spell it out really clearly and really quickly for you?
See, the gospel involves a few things. One is the fact of sin. Okay, the fact of sin. Did you guys realize that we're sinners? See, I've asked most of you why you were sinners.
You would tell me bad things you've done. See, sin is not just bad things you've done. Sin is the heredity of your life. Sin is the bad thing that you are. The reason that you've done all the bad things that you've done is because you are fundamentally flawed in every way.
You yourself are a sinner. That's what the gospel points out. There's a fact that you're sinning because your nature is sin. It's all you know how to do. That's the fact of sin.
Secondly is this. It's the penalty of sin. There's a penalty for that sin. As a result of your sin, you're gonna die. It's a fact.
You're gonna stand before the glory of Jesus Christ. A fact. And you're gonna give an account for every sin you've ever sinned. And here's the truth. In light of a holy, perfect God, none of you is gonna be accepted by God.
Period. End of story. And what's going to happen is when you stand before the light of the glory of God, he's going to say, depart from me, you worker of iniquity. I never knew you. And he's going to cast you out into the lake of fire where there'll be weeping and gnashing of teeth.
That's the penalty of sin. Ready for the good news? Here's the provision of sin. Jesus Christ himself came and did what we could never do. He was born of a virgin, right?
He was conceived by the Holy Spirit. He lived the perfect life. He suffered under Pontius Pilate. He was crucified. He died and was buried for our sins that Jesus Christ fulfilled the requirement of God that we could never fulfill.
He stood in our place, he shed his blood. He took all our sin nature on him, all of our heredity, not just all the bad things we'd ever done or all the bad things we would ever do, but our whole nature. He took on himself and he died. And three days later, he rose from. From the dead.
And the good news is that we can trust him. But knowing that's not enough. See, there's a fourth step in this, that we're called to repent of our sin, not just the bad things. We did. But our heredity of sin, not just God.
I've done some bad things and I need you. But God, I am a bad thing and you're good, and I need you. And I'm turning from my sin and I'm trusting in you. I'm turning to you. I'm placing my faith and trust in Jesus Christ.
That's the gospel. If you've never done that before, you're not a Christian. See, the gospel's not well, I had some bad sins and bad behavior, and so I'm gonna trust Jesus, and then I'll sin a little bit less. No, the gospel is I was dead in my trespasses and sins. I was an enemy of the cross of Christ.
I was completely lost in who I was. But I realized that I was going to hell because of my sin. Jesus Christ died in my place, rose from the dead, and I repented of my sin. And I trusted Jesus Christ as my lord. And there was a divine exchange that took happen at that, that took place at that moment.
The divine exchange was this. God took all of my sin and he gave me all of his heart and all of his love, and he gave me his very life, and forever and ever I'm his. That's the gospel. Can you focus on that? Cause see, if you're single and you're not satisfied, here's what you're saying.
Yeah, I got all that. I know I'm going to heaven. I know I was dead. I know I was going to hell. I know all that, but I'm not married.
When are you going to give me that right? It's messed up. It's that you have the opportunity to live it and share it. And considering only about five to 10% of the world actually believes that there's great opportunity, there's great opportunity in our church. There's great opportunity outside our church to serve the Lord with everything you have and have your focus on him.
I mean, this is what Paul would talk about in Philippians chapter three and verse 20. Here's what he said, for our citizenship is in heaven, from which we also eagerly await for a savior, the Lord Jesus Christ. This is not my home. I'm a citizen of heaven. I live here temporarily.
God's taking me home. And in second Corinthians. I'm sorry, in second Thessalonians, rather. Second Thessalonians, chapter three and verse one. Here's a single man saying this.
Finally, brethren, pray for us that the word of the Lord will spread rapidly and be glorified just as it did also with you. Here's my prayer, he says, because I'm not of this world, because this is not my permanent home, I'm living for Jesus Christ in every way. Pray for us as we share the gospel, that other people would come to know Christ. Pray for us, that God would use us. I mean, that's what it's all about.
You don't see Paul in prison. Like God, when are you going to bring me my wife? I mean, I've suffered long enough for you. He's not concerned about that. He's concerned about the glory of the Lord.
And he realizes his singleness is a gift to give solo minded focus to the Lord Jesus Christ. If you're single, it is a time to give solo minded focus to the Lord Jesus Christ. Give it to him. What's getting in your way? Now, there comes a point where you may choose to get married, and we're gonna talk about that here in a little bit.
But if you're not, why waste your time? Why waste your time? I'm gonna talk to the high school students here real quick. Middle school students here real quick. Some of you that are in college, some of your young twenties, okay, let me just tell you something, high school students, chances are you're not getting married this year.
Pretty good chance, right? Why do you date? I mean, it's an absolute waste of your time because really, the only reason you're dating is to find out if somebody really likes you, who doesn't even matter, that you're not going to care about down the road anyway. And if you truly are high school sweethearts that you're going to get married, that boy will get a job someday and he'll come looking for you again. Trust me.
I mean, don't waste your time focused on somebody else's attention when God says, I want your attention. And if you'll give it to me, you'll be satisfied in me. Because here's the truth about marriage. Some of us think, well, I'll just get married, then I'll be satisfied with my spouse. I'll be satisfied with my husband.
I'll be satisfied with my wife. If you miss this as a single, you're really going to miss it as a married. Because the purpose of marriage according to God is not just so you can get together and please one another. The purpose of marriage is, hey, you're going after the Lord as a single like this. And he or she was going after the Lord like a single like this.
Now I'm bringing you together so you can both go after me together with everything you have. And now I got greater capacity for you to continue to share the gospel. But I want to continue to have you make me your solo minded focus. When my wife and I get in disagreements versus when my wife and I sizzle when we're doing well, it's because both of us are humbling ourselves before the Lord, seeking him. And we understand that we're married for the purpose of honoring God, showing love to one another, for the purpose of expanding the gospel.
And we do really, really well. And when we forget that and we think it's about us and what each other's doing to meet each other's needs and how we're treating one another, and it's all about us, we can get miserable in a very quick. We can get in a mess in a hurry, right? Because it's not about us. And this is what Paul's saying.
If you're single, it's a gift. It's a gift. There's things that you can do that you don't have to worry about, the troubles of marriage, and you can focus on Jesus Christ himself. Let me give you a third one. Here's number three.
Here's a third blessing. As a single who's satisfied, you are provided with an opportunity to give wholehearted devotion to Jesus Christ. Wholehearted devotion to Jesus Christ. Not just your focus, but everything that you have. Notice what he says in verse 32.
He says, but I want you to be free from concern. One who is unmarried is concerned about the things of the Lord and how he may please the Lord. But one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how he may please his wife and notice, and his interests are divided. Likewise, he says, the woman who is unmarried and the virgin is concerned about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and spirit, but the one who is married is concerned about the things of the world and how she may please her husband. Now, he's not saying marriage is bad.
He's just saying it's different. And there are challenges to being married and that you have to be divided. Because the Bible makes clear that if I'm a married man, that my job is to love my wife like Christ loved the church. And the way that I demonstrate the gospel is by the way that I love my wife, that as a single, I don't have to demonstrate that to any other woman at all. I can just live with me and Jesus as a christian, single woman.
Right? You can live with a single focus, wholehearted devotion to Jesus. But as a married woman, you're called to respect your husband and submit to him in everything, and that creates a whole set of new challenges. Right? And so Paul's saying, I'm just trying to spare you of this, if it's possible at all for you to be single and God's not calling you to be married.
It's a really, really good thing. And so enjoy your singleness and give wholehearted devotion to Jesus Christ. And here's what I mean by that. There's singles I meet sometimes that will say stuff like this, hey, once I'm married, my husband and I will. And they fill in the blank.
Or, hey, once I'm married, my wife and I, we will blank. Let me tell you something. If you're not doing it now, you won't do it then. In other words, hey, once I'm married, we're going to start going on mission trips. Hey, once I'm married, I'll get serious about church.
Hey, once I'm married, I'll probably start tithing. No, you won't. It'll be even harder once you get married if you're not doing it now. And, oh, by the way, this is just for the ladies right now. If you're a single lady, quit looking for a guy that kind of fits what you want.
Well, he kind of comes to church now that we're dating, and he kind of does this stuff. Listen, if he wasn't going to church before and he wasn't serving the Lord with everything he had before, he ain't going to be serving the Lord after. Okay? And, guys, who should you be looking for? You should be looking for a gal that's going after Jesus with her whole heart that doesn't need you.
And she's fine if you never even came along. Cause she's in love with Jesus. Go after that girl. You'll be satisfied with that. Now, I know what you're saying.
Cause some of you are like, yeah, I've been single, and I get that, and I've been doing that, but my singleness is too long. I mean, this season has been too long. I mean, I. You don't understand, pastor. Oh, yeah, I do.
I do, I do. So let me just tell you a story from my own life. I mean, I didn't meet Kim till I was 32, right? I remember I was doing a wedding one time when I was about 31 years old, and I was performing a wedding for this couple that had been in my youth group. The bride was 23, and the groom was 19.
And I was performing their wedding, and I was going through all the ritual that you do at weddings, because anybody can pretty much do a wedding. You just kind of read through the same stuff, right? And so I'm going through it, and we're sharing stuff, and I'm doing a short message and all this, but in my heart, I'm having a conversation with God. Like, dude, God, he's 19, and he's got a wife. I'm 31.
I've been serving you. Where's my wife? Mad about it. And some of you feel like that, so let me just encourage you a little bit. What I find in the Bible is sometimes when God takes longer to give you what you've been praying about, but, you know, it's something he has for you.
It's only because what he has for you down the road is better than what he could give you right now in the present, right? Once I met my wife, then I was like, oh, that's why. And now that I'm married, just for some of you that don't know me very well, I'm a very driven person. I like to do things at 100%. And so when I went to seminary and I was a youth pastor, I would do 14 to 15 hours a day, like, studying God's word, doing my schoolwork, pouring into students, and doing all that.
I could not have been married to my wife. There's no way I could have given her the time. And honestly, even though I wanted to be married, I would have felt all the time like she was a distraction to me because of all the drive and energy. I had to go do this stuff, and I was taking mission trips when I wanted to, and I was going around the world when I wanted to, and I was preaching the gospel and doing all that and finally got to a place where God was like, all right, hey, you're ready now. And when he brought my wife, it was so cool because she was always already going the same way that I was going, and she didn't need me.
And if I hadn't married her, she would have been like, see you later. I didn't need you anyway. I would find somebody else. That's what I wanted to marry her for, right? And when God brought us together, then it was learning each other and learning our gifts.
And to the extent that she's focused on hers and I'm focused on mine, we were able to do things in a broader context than we ever were together. So don't be miserable and think God forgot you. God hasn't forgotten you. If you're called to be married, your spouse will come in due time. But don't waste your singleness in God getting you ready for what he has for you.
That's exactly what Paul's saying here. Use your singleness to give wholehearted devotion to Jesus singles. Some of you could afford to serve more. You could. You have the time.
You can make it your focus. There's so many opportunities from kids all the way on through small groups, leading in church, ushering, greeting, doing any number of things. We want you to serve like that. For some of you, God can put a call on your heart to go overseas and do stuff that is a single. Just go.
Go live for three or four months overseas with another people group. Share the gospel of Christ. You can do that. I mean, go do what God's calling you to do. And here's really what he's saying.
When we come to Jesus Christ, we become part of his mission. Jesus Christ said, all authority in heaven and earth has been given to me. Therefore, go make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, Son and the Holy Spirit. And I'll be with you always till the end of the age. That's our commission.
So when you become a believer and you repent of your sins and trust Christ, we're all on mission together. Regardless of where we go to church, regardless of what ministries we're a part of, we're all about the spread of the gospel of Jesus Christ. If you're single, then, and you're like, okay, I'm on that team, I'm on that page, then what specifically has God called you to do with your life? What's your ministry? If you know your mission, what's your ministry?
As a single, you should be praying for God. How do you want to use my life to serve you? How uniquely have you made me to serve you? Is it a doctor, is it an attorney, is it a coach, is it a teacher, is it a missionary, is it a pastor, is it an evangelist, is it a business owner? I mean, what has God called you uniquely to do?
Because if you know that you're part of Christ's mission and you also know this is how God wants me to be used in Christ's mission, and you get your ministry and your mission right before you get your mate, it works a heck of a lot better. I mean, when I met Kim, she knew, I'm gonna be a preacher. I'm gonna go all over the world and preach the gospel, and I wanna disciple people. And that's what I'm doing, and that's where I'm going. And I was kinda like, whether you come or not.
And she was kind of like, well, I'm going after Jesus, and I'm gonna serve him wholeheartedly, whether you like it or not. I'm like, well, then let's like it together. And so we went for it, right? It's hard to reverse that order. It's hard to get married to somebody that's not as passionate about Jesus as you and then try to bring them along for the ride.
It could be absolutely miserable, right? So it's better if as a single, you know who you are, you know what God's called you to do, and you're going after that with your whole heart. And then if God brings somebody, great, let God bring somebody. Let God do that. Let God be the one.
See, if you're listening to this and you're like, yeah, I'm single, and I'm so miserable, then you're missing the whole thing. Your focus needs to be on Jesus Christ, and you can be totally satisfied in Jesus Christ as a single, all right? And that's what God wants. And it's really important that we understand that, because God wants singles to know like he wants marriage, to know that you can give me wholehearted devotion. But singles, you have the benefit of being able to do things and pack up and leave and on a moment's notice to go do things that we as married people don't have quite the freedom to do.
And then let me give you the final blessing of being single. The final blessing of being single is you always, listen to this. If you've never been married, you always have the freedom to marry if you would desire. You always have the freedom to marry if you would desire. A single can wake up one morning that's never been married and said, you know what?
I'm tired of being single. I think I want to get married. Great, get married. A married person can't wake up and say that I don't feel like being married anymore. Well, you're still married, so good for you, right?
I mean, that's exactly what he's saying. Paul's saying, I'm not giving you this as a command. You don't have to stay single for the rest of your life. It doesn't mean marriage is bad, it's good. He goes, I'm just telling you, you have the freedom to do it.
Notice what I say, verse 35. This I say for your own benefit, not to put a restraint on you, but to promote what is appropriate and to secure undistracted devotion to the Lord. Now, these next verses are a little bit challenging to translate. Depending upon which version you have, they're going to read a little bit different. The english standard version, which I don't use, reads a little bit differently.
It's an accurate translation, but they've translated it apparently based upon how they think this should read. And let me just read it to you. It says this, if anyone thinks he is not behaving properly towards his betrothed, if his passions are strong and it has to be, let him do as he wishes, let them marry. It is no sin. But whoever is firmly established in his heart, being under no necessity but having his desire under control, and has determined this in his heart to keep her as his betrothed, he will do well.
So then he who marries his betrothed does well, and he who refrains from marriage will do even better. And the way the ESV or the english standard version reads is basically this, guys, if you're engaged to a gal and you realize, hey, my behavior is not good, my passions are too strong, it's good to go ahead then and get married. But if you're engaged and you say to yourself as a. You know what, listen, my passions aren't all that strong. I think I'd be okay to be single.
It's okay to not get married. And if you get married, it's good. And if you don't get married, even better. And that's how they read the translation. It's actually a newer understanding of what that text would say, the new american standard that I use and other texts would be more aligned with what would have been original.
And keep in mind this, when the Corinthians were writing back to Paul, they're asking questions about how this dating and marriage and all this kind of stuff works. And many of the fathers were probably asking, hey, what about my girls? Because in the first century, to get married, you had to go talk to the father to get permission to marry the wife. That's what happened in the first century. That's what happens in the schwarzen tribe house in the 21st century.
But that's the way it goes. And dads wanted to know, should I give my daughter away to this guy that comes and asks for her hand in marriage? And Paul is going to address the dads, and here's what he's going to tell them. He says, but if any man thinks this is the father, if any father thinks he is acting unbecomingly towards his virgin daughter. If she is past her youth, and if it must be so, let him do what he wishes.
He does not sin. Let her marry. Here's what he's saying. What's acting unbecomingly towards his virgin daughter? Here's what it means.
It means you have a young daughter who's never been married, who's saying, dad, I'm a believer in Christ. This man that wants my hand in marriage is a believer in Christ. And daddy, I feel like God's calling me to marry him. And Paul was addressing the father, saying, if you have a christian daughter that wants to marry a christian man and you think it's a good thing, dads, go ahead and let your christian daughters marry christian men. There's nothing wrong with that.
It's actually a good thing. But he goes on to say this in the very next verse. He says, but he who stands firm in his heart, being under no constraint, which means this, perhaps he's got this virgin daughter. It's like, dad, I don't want to get married. I don't really want to marry that guy that's coming for me.
I'm not really all that interested in marriage. In other words, the father is not under constraint to allow her to marry, but has authority over his own will and has decided this in his own heart, to keep his own virgin daughter. He will do well. So then both he who gives his own virgin daughter in marriage does well, and he who does not give her in marriage will do even better. In other words, dads, if you have christian daughters, somebody comes for their hand in marriage and they are a Christian, and you see that it's going to be a good thing, go ahead and let them marry.
It's a good thing. Marriage is good for your daughters. But if you notice that your daughter is like, dad, I don't want to get married. Don't force your daughter to marry. She doesn't have to get married.
She can be single and you can celebrate who she is as single. And dad, you can protect them. Now, I've already started making a list. My daughters are ten and four. I've already made a list for what it's going to take to date my daughter.
And if you're going to marry her, it's like a longer contract and all sorts of things, right? And I talk to my girls about this all the time. I mean, even my four year old, we have minimal conversation. So my daughter, who's ten, totally gets it. And it was a few years ago, a friend of mine had a son over at my house, and they've known each other since they were kids, and me and the dad were really, really good friends.
And so the son was over at our house, and he was having breakfast one day. And sure enough, I guess he had talked to his dad and said, dad, you know, I kind of like Brooke and on and on. And so we were sitting down to breakfast, and he asked me about Brooke and if he could ever date her someday. And I said, well, are you a follower of Jesus? And he said, yeah.
And so then I asked him a bunch of other questions. Well, his dad, on the way home said, how did it go with Pastor Jeff? He goes, dad, it didn't go very well. He said. He asked me if I was a Christian, and that was okay.
But then he asked me if I had a job. He goes, dad, I need to get a job.
Point being, dads, let me just ask you this. Moms and dads, just by show of hands in this room, how many of you think having your child's best interest, you know more about marriage and dating than they do? Just by show of hands? Okay, of course you do. Now, all of you kids don't believe that, and I get it, but they do, and they love you.
And the reason they're speaking into you is because they do. That's why Paul's addressing the fathers and saying, parents, it's our responsibility. It's not just dads to sons and mothers to dads to daughters and mothers to sons. It's fathers over sons and daughters, and mothers over sons and daughters. That we have a responsibility in shaping our kids to understand who they are in Christ and how loved they are by God, because of the way that we love them, so that when it comes time for them to marry, they'll look for the kind of person that's going after the same things that you valued in your own marriage.
Dads, if you want your daughters to marry, well, here's the number one thing you can do. Love your wife well.
Love your wife well. Women, if you want your sons to marry somebody that you'd actually want to spend time with, submit to your husband and respect him. Well, I mean, that's just the way it works. And so we model for our kids. Now, do we get that right every single time?
No, we don't. But then what can our kids see? They can see us coming to them and telling them, I didn't treat your mom very well there, and that was wrong. And you saw me apologize to her because I should never act that way. And I was wrong and she was right, so they should see that.
Do your kids see that in you? Right? I mean, that's what Paul's writing to the corinthian church. He's saying, hey, listen, dads, you have a major responsibility. It's not wrong for your kids to grow up and get married, but it's also not wrong if they want to be single.
It's a good choice. And singles, you have the freedom. You can choose. You choose to be single for the rest of your life, great. You choose to get married, that's fine, too.
Good option. Just make sure that your focus is on Jesus Christ. And then he goes back and he gives the definition of marriage we've been talking about. Really? Quoting Genesis 224 in verse 39, he says, a wife is bound to her husband as long as he lives.
Okay, that's God's view of marriage, by the way, did you know that? I mean, go back and listen to my sermon from a few weeks ago. You are bound to your husband as long as you live. That's the vow that you make until one of you dies. You're married, right?
And if you separate, you're still married, so you might as well just stay single. And if you've separated, you've gotten remarried, then stay married to who you are, confess the sin that it was and just move on. Right. Marriage is a man and a woman covenanted under God till death do they part. Wife is bound to her husband as long as he lives, but if her husband is dead, she is free to be married to whomever she wishes.
Only in the Lord. Christians only marry christians. The flirt and convert doesn't work.
Missionary dating doesn't work. Right. If they don't love Jesus now, they're not going to love Jesus then. Now I know you'll hear a story like one out of every 1000. Well, I was dating this guy and he wasn't a Christian.
I thought God was calling me to lead him to Christ and I led him to Christ. And that word one out of every thousand may work that way. But I can tell you 999 that I've sat in counseling sessions with, it didn't work that way. And I'm going to tell you, if you're really going after Jesus with your whole heart and you really love him, you won't want to get sidetracked with somebody that's not going after Jesus as much as you go after Jesus with your whole heart. And singles, don't be afraid to serve God wholeheartedly because here's what the enemy will lie to you.
If you serve God wholeheartedly, you'll never get married. He'll take you to the mission field, all this stuff. Here's the truth. If you serve God wholeheartedly and he's the one that's providing your spouse, you can be anywhere in the world and he can provide your spouse. It's not very hard for him.
There you go. It's right there. Just serve God wholeheartedly because you're bound to this person as long as you live. So singles, think about this. If they've got some annoying habits now that you're like, I could never live with that.
It ain't changing. It's going to get more annoying after they get married. And even if you marry the one that God has for you, I've been told that sometimes people have annoying habits even after they get married. That's what I've been told.
So here's what I would say. Don't marry the person you could live with. Don't marry the person you might be able to get along with. Marry the person you can't live without. Marry the person that you've got to do this thing with Jesus with.
Marry that person. And then Paul goes on to say, but in my opinion, this is just my opinion. Paul says she is happier if she remains as she is. And I think that I also have the spirit of God. Here's what he's saying.
Singles. It's satisfying to be single if you live in wholehearted devotion to Jesus Christ and you focus on him and you use your time wisely in marriage, if you're married, here's how it works. You do the same thing. You focus on Jesus. You give wholehearted devotion to Jesus and you honor Jesus by serving your spouse in such a way that God gets all the glory.
So that's why we sing to him. That's why we praise him. Because he has all wisdom for us and knowing what we need to do next, he has all vision for us because he can see where we need to go. That's why we sing to him. That's why we look to him.
That's why we sing hallelujah, praise ye the Lord, that our God reigns. Singles, listen to me. If you're single, it's a blessing and you are loved by God, take full advantage of it. If you're married, it's a blessing. He loves you.
Take full advantage of it. That's the God that we serve. Amen. Would you stand as we close today? Lord, we just love you.
We look to you, we praise your holy name. We thank you for who you are. We thank you for the gospel that teaches us how to love you and how to love one another in the way that you design. And we give you all the praise and glory. In Jesus name, amen.